Howe A-musing

Blogger's note: November 16: I wrote this 3 weeks ago.....though it sounds like just yesterday.

I have so many ideas running through my head...each blogworthy...so I am just going to run through them here.

Yesterday I was reading the thesaurus looking for just the right word. I started in the A s and was amazed at how many descriptive words there are for dispositions. In just the first 4 pages I came across abject, able, abnormal, abominable, aboveboard, abrasive, abrupt, absent-absentminded, absorbed, abstemious, abstruse, and absurd. Each of these words has approximately 15 entries --that's about 200 descriptive words. Who cares? you say. Well,I was so impressed at how many positive words there are--so many cheery, and glorious attributes that I decided that far too many of the negative downtrodden words were operating in my life. I'm going to give them all up. I think it is, after all, all about choice.

Choice? You know I always hated that quote from Abraham Lincoln. The one that goes something like this... "A man is just about as happy as he makes up his mind to be." NO, I would say. It's not MY fault that I am unhappy! I didn't DECIDE to be unhappy! But, again, I didn't decide to be Happy, either. And you know I think that it is easier to be unhappy than it is to be happy. Not better. But easier.

I mean think about it. It is so easy to be mad. It is so easy to be disappointed. It is so much easier to get angry than to keep your cool. It is easier to hate than to forgive. Get my drift? And it is easier to be lazy, than to make the effort to choose a response.

This has been a hard year for me, personally. I have learned a lot about making choices. And I have made some hard choices,all of which seemed to only have negative consequences. And I accept that. Instead of complaining incessantly--a very strong pull I feel--I have been learning how to choose to respond, or act. Not easy. I am not always successful. Sometimes I choose happiness for the wrong reasons--avoidance, say. But there are other reasons to choose happiness as a point of view. The obvious one is that you feel better being happy. Life goes along more easily. People enjoy being around you. It actually is more peaceful, and uses less energy. And it may just safeguard your health. Also, it feels good. And finding the good in something bad is just about the only compensation for having gone through an ordeal.

So, I'll let you in on the big secret....you can be Happy. In the middle of all the stress, the disappointments, the infuriatingly frustrating actions of others. Just shut that door, and open a new one. The stuff is all still there...it is true, but you can put it out of your mind, and function much better. This I know for sure.

I think I should have learned Meditation and the whole Zen thing when I was young. I'm sure it would have helped me enormously.

HOWE TIME FLIES

I read everyone's blogs this morning, and then I looked at mine. August 24th! That was my last blog? Whoa. I have really been asleep at the wheel! I got so caught up in my projects while I was home this summer, I didn't even take a breath. I worked steadily on them 5 hours a day, because I was afraid I wouldn't have time to finish. And I was right.

Now, I am back in my gypsy world with a box full of incomplete projects in the trunk of my car that require my full attention, and uninterrupted thought. And I have 60 days to complete them. Today is the first day I have even thought of working on them...the house is quiet, Grover/Dad is writing on his novel. As soon as I finish this blog, I will get that box out and determine what needs to be done.

But, I digress. I was discussing the lengthy silence. The blog silence from August 24th to mid September is clearly due to my projects. The blog silence from mid September until today is due to VISITING.

A word about VISITING. I don't know how other people do it, but my idea of VISITING is talking, running errands with people, shopping, eating, telling stories, watching TV or movies, and helping with cleanup. All good things.

Things that get in the way of VISITING are: phone calls, computer tasks, including email and blogging, paying bills, cleaning the car, laundry, and entertaining the GROVER. He has his own category. He doesn't do VISITING very well. His idea of VISITING is: what are we doing? when are we doing it? when will we be done with it? What can I fix? Where is "the library?" (For those of you who don't know..."the library" is his pseudonymn for Barnes & Noble.)

In the past the longest we had ever visited anyone was probably about 4 days, and our shortest visit may have been 1 1/2 days. Surprisingly, so far, we have broken our 4 day record in each of our visits, to Rachel, and to Aunt Diane. We stayed 8 1/2 days at Rachel's house, and we have been at my sister's house a little over 2 weeks. And we have 5 more days until we pick them up from the airport. Did I mention they are not here? So, technically it may not count if we visit people who actually have gone to visit others. We took Aunt Diane and Uncle Glenn to the airport on Monday to fly to Phoenix and visit their friends there. We are housesitting. Hence, the blogging.

And coincidentally, and ironically, Jess has been visiting our house while we have been gone. Is this just so insane? They had a stopover on their way to Erin's brother's wedding, and popped into Lovell for a few days. Yes, I was very sad I wasn't there to play with them. But I am learning to control my emotions. And I was happy they had a warm/cozy place to stop, and they could see where we live. When we are living there.

So, this is HOWE TIME. This is the HOWE life. And this is how it flies. In circles, and in loop de loops and with zigs and zags and sudden turns. Sometimes it is a seesaw, and sometimes it is a roller coaster. And sometimes I am sick to my stomach, and sometimes I am gloriously happy to see my loved ones. But one thing is sure...it is never DULL.

See you soon. For now, I have to finish my XMAS projects. Shhhhhh! Don't tell.