You all know that I am a stickler for correct grammar. Heaven knows I have corrected most of you a few times in that area, even Richard, who I do not have direct responsibility for in the area of language. Thank goodness he is a good sport! Being an unrequited lover of the English language does not necessarily make you popular or comfortable with the attack and demolition that happens quite regularly to it. But I have tried not to be a language snob and to recognize that there are many ways to communicate...not the least of which is Will's slang, Em's texting, and Dad's comical assault on words just for the hair raising effect of it.
That being said, I am finally putting into words one of my biggest grievances. And that is the disappearance of two words...to be. Oh, you haven't noticed? Sure you have. The first place I ever noticed this was in Lovell. In 1994. Are you amazed I can remember? It is because of Emily's 1st grade teacher. Now, I give normal, average, regular people some slack....but not teachers. Because they are so formative..especially in the early grades. This lapse in the use of "to be" by her teacher and others was one of the compelling reasons for our relocation to CA. What? some might say. Correct grammar in CA? You betcha! I never had a single conversation with one of the teachers wherein I heard them use poor grammar. And I had a lot of conversations over the years. But, I haven't showed you what I am talking about yet, have I?
Here it is. But, I caution you....I am only putting this into print so that you can help me curb the ongoing evolution and acceptance. Please do this for your mother! friend! mother in law! and sister!
"The car needs washed. The house needs cleaned." These are the most common usages I have overheard. But you can hear it everywhere...I am afraid it will soon be on your own television and radio. Here is the formula: Noun + the word "needs" + (drop the "to be") + a past tense verb = the criminal act. Your job now is to listen to people talking and see how many times you spot the poor little "to be" words dropping out of circulation. And, if you can, to stop the madness. Maybe we can do it in a funny way. Maybe we can stand up tall and immediately say, TO BE OR NOT TO BE! That should get some attention. And laughter. And then you can say truthfully, "Oh, it makes my Mother insane when people leave out the words "to be." And she begs us to campaign for them." Blame me. I have considered writing to NPR as one of those viewer comments to address this issue.
Why do I care? Aside from the nails on the chalkboard feeling I have whenever I hear it? Well, I feel like a keeper. Like there needs to be more keepers. Keepers of the language. We are already losing "fewer". That word has been replaced without a backwards glance with "less" in so many instances. The first time I heard it done on the radio I nearly drove over the center divider! And now I hear it constantly, and I see it in print, in ads, on the television, the radio and in common communication. That war is so far gone, I don't think we will even see the word in use soon. I'm sure you know what I am talking about...but in case you have forgotten. Less is a word you use for things you can't actually number. Like peanut butter, and sunshine. Words that you don't put an s on to make them plural. Fewer is a word you use for things you can count. Like apples, bills, even people. Check it out. I always test it by saying: fewer peanut butter, or less peanut butter? I think it's obvious.
You will soon see that advertising agencies are the biggest villains in that war, because they are using the idea of the alliterative series. One or two of the uses will be correct and the third will be shoved in to make it match. i.e. the basic look is something like this is: purchase our product: less time, less trouble, less headaches. OUCH! You can tell which one is wrong. It's the one that is plural. Except I am afraid it is getting less obvious as it becomes more widespread. (You wouldn't say "fewer obvious", ha ha, my own private joke!) Not funny, I know. You might have to ask yourself the peanut butter question, when you hear the word from now on. Is it measurable? can I count it?
I don't think we can save fewer. It is on the fast track to oblivion. I wish it wasn't so. I am losing the fight. The next victim is at hand:
To be or not to be? That is the question.
3 comments:
Mom I think you are so amazing. I am also a lover of the english language - even though I am certain I butcher it. I know in my haste to get a sentence out or written - to type an email or blog something - I often misspell which irks me to no end but I have no time to correct - my happiness comes from knowing I was actually able to reply. Please continue to remind and correct - in a loving manner- so that I don't wind up sounding like the person I don't want to be. I like using you to make me a better person. I think your blog entry was just so fun!! You should really write more of your thoughts down!!
Joy, you bring me more happiness, more laughs, and more fun (and no, less is not more...)! I had to think quickly to see if I could recall ever making a grammatical faux pas in your presence. I think I am in the clean and hope my mouth don't needs washed.... My nephew's wife says that she has to "bath her baby." I said, "Don't you mean, give her a bath?" But she told me that that's how they say it in Rexburg. Maybe it is a Mormon cultural thing?
mom i'm pretty sure you've transfered this pet peeve to all your children, because i cant stand it when my friends say it. It drives me crazy. Thanks for ruining my life. jk look at my blog
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