TO BE OR NOT TO BE....

You all know that I am a stickler for correct grammar. Heaven knows I have corrected most of you a few times in that area, even Richard, who I do not have direct responsibility for in the area of language. Thank goodness he is a good sport! Being an unrequited lover of the English language does not necessarily make you popular or comfortable with the attack and demolition that happens quite regularly to it. But I have tried not to be a language snob and to recognize that there are many ways to communicate...not the least of which is Will's slang, Em's texting, and Dad's comical assault on words just for the hair raising effect of it.

That being said, I am finally putting into words one of my biggest grievances. And that is the disappearance of two words...to be. Oh, you haven't noticed? Sure you have. The first place I ever noticed this was in Lovell. In 1994. Are you amazed I can remember? It is because of Emily's 1st grade teacher. Now, I give normal, average, regular people some slack....but not teachers. Because they are so formative..especially in the early grades. This lapse in the use of "to be" by her teacher and others was one of the compelling reasons for our relocation to CA. What? some might say. Correct grammar in CA? You betcha! I never had a single conversation with one of the teachers wherein I heard them use poor grammar. And I had a lot of conversations over the years. But, I haven't showed you what I am talking about yet, have I?

Here it is. But, I caution you....I am only putting this into print so that you can help me curb the ongoing evolution and acceptance. Please do this for your mother! friend! mother in law! and sister!

"The car needs washed. The house needs cleaned." These are the most common usages I have overheard. But you can hear it everywhere...I am afraid it will soon be on your own television and radio. Here is the formula: Noun + the word "needs" + (drop the "to be") + a past tense verb = the criminal act. Your job now is to listen to people talking and see how many times you spot the poor little "to be" words dropping out of circulation. And, if you can, to stop the madness. Maybe we can do it in a funny way. Maybe we can stand up tall and immediately say, TO BE OR NOT TO BE! That should get some attention. And laughter. And then you can say truthfully, "Oh, it makes my Mother insane when people leave out the words "to be." And she begs us to campaign for them." Blame me. I have considered writing to NPR as one of those viewer comments to address this issue.

Why do I care? Aside from the nails on the chalkboard feeling I have whenever I hear it? Well, I feel like a keeper. Like there needs to be more keepers. Keepers of the language. We are already losing "fewer". That word has been replaced without a backwards glance with "less" in so many instances. The first time I heard it done on the radio I nearly drove over the center divider! And now I hear it constantly, and I see it in print, in ads, on the television, the radio and in common communication. That war is so far gone, I don't think we will even see the word in use soon. I'm sure you know what I am talking about...but in case you have forgotten. Less is a word you use for things you can't actually number. Like peanut butter, and sunshine. Words that you don't put an s on to make them plural. Fewer is a word you use for things you can count. Like apples, bills, even people. Check it out. I always test it by saying: fewer peanut butter, or less peanut butter? I think it's obvious.

You will soon see that advertising agencies are the biggest villains in that war, because they are using the idea of the alliterative series. One or two of the uses will be correct and the third will be shoved in to make it match. i.e. the basic look is something like this is: purchase our product: less time, less trouble, less headaches. OUCH! You can tell which one is wrong. It's the one that is plural. Except I am afraid it is getting less obvious as it becomes more widespread. (You wouldn't say "fewer obvious", ha ha, my own private joke!) Not funny, I know. You might have to ask yourself the peanut butter question, when you hear the word from now on. Is it measurable? can I count it?

I don't think we can save fewer. It is on the fast track to oblivion. I wish it wasn't so. I am losing the fight. The next victim is at hand:

To be or not to be? That is the question.

Log Cabin Move

Well, everyone, it's finally happening. Dad's dream dark room made from the old log cabin is beginning to look like it might come to pass. As you may remember last Summer we poured a foundation. Dad's plan was to lift up that old little one room log cabin and move it to the pad 100 feet or so from the garage. I wasn't so sure it could be done. But Dad spent a long time thinking about it, and he got some house jacks and jacked up the house off the flooring. It wasn't attached. Then he got a tractor and pushed the flooring out from under the house as far as he could, and then hooked a chain to the extended edge and pulled it the rest of the way out. Then he hoisted the floor straight up. Check it out. I took pictures.

You should have seen him driving the tractor backwards down the road at 2 miles an hour, the floor bumping along as it dragged. Once at the site he lowered it onto the slab. Isn't that amazing? After we figure out the floor insulation, we are going to go back and lift up the house and set it on a trailer and drive it down to the foundation. Sounds impossible, doesn't it? Aren't tractors great? You can do such impossible stuff with them.
Moving the house is just the beginning...there is so much other work to do on it, like the roofing and flooring, the plumbing and the electrical outlet installation. It is a big project...but we are getting closer....slowly.

Moving the house

Well, everyone, it's finally happening. Dad's dream dark room made from the old log cabin is beginning to look like it might come to pass. As you may remember last Summer we poured a foundation. Dad's plan was to lift up that old little one room log cabin and move it to the pad 100 feet or so from the garage. I wasn't so sure it could be done. But Dad spent a long time thinking about it, and he got some house jacks and jacked up the house off the flooring. It wasn't attached. Then he got a tractor and pushed the flooring out from under the house as far as he could, and then hooked a chain to the extended edge and pulled it the rest of the way out. Then he hoisted the floor straight up. Check it out. I took pictures.

You should have seen him driving the tractor backwards down the road at 2 miles an hour, the floor bumping along as it dragged. When he got next to the slab he lowered it onto the slab. Isn't that amazing? In the next few days we are going to go back and lift up the house and set it on a trailer and drive it down to the foundation. Sounds impossible, doesn't it? Aren't tractors great? You can do such impossible stuff with them.

We are getting closer to the end of the project. I'll keep you posted.

A New Occupation

Well, Linne called me out on being a farmer. Nat's Mom apparently knows the truth about me. I did try it out. Last year. I put on my jeans, I even bought overalls, and I put on my work boots and my blue cotton work shirts, grabbed my gloves and my hat, and reported to the kitchen for work at 8 a.m. every day. For a year. It was the year Glen and Ruth were working at the sugar factory in the winter and the Ditch in the spring/summer. That was the year I thought Grover needed help and I was his only hope. After 10+ months of that routine, I discovered something. Farmers/Cowboys are solitary workers. They have tractors and big equipment to do the work we amateur farmhands think will be help to them.

I spent more than a month clearing the corral of wire and wood and debris. Not too long after that I watched in amazement as Glen drove a bulldozer through and shoved it all into one big pile. In 15 minutes or less. Boy, did I feel stupid. I did the same thing, tearing out a quarter of the brush behind the corral so we could get to the fencing to tear it down. Again, since I had started the job, Glen came through with help and took out the whole fence and all the remaining brush with....the bulldozer, again. Now, I know why the farmers love their equipment! All those farm sales are just heaven to them. And I know, too, why their wives go with them happily to the auctions. They are just as happy to stay in the house making some dinner for their dynamos.

I guess the real value was this: Start something too big to finish on your own, and maybe someone will get it done. At least I got things started. Fighting inertia is a real uphill battle. Especially 10+ years of it.

After that first year, and this year with the help of Glen and Ruth, the real deal farmhands, Grover has been just fine working on his own...farming and ranching. And yes, Linne, you are right. I live on a farm. Occasionally I have to go out and encourage (we call it herding) the cows to go through the open gate. Once in a while I have to drive a tractor to fertilize a field--30 minutes max. But I am no farmer. I think that is in the blood. I would rather stay indoors to tie a quilt, or read, or blog. Don't even get me started on the mosquitoes!

At heart, I am a still a California beach girl. Sadly, the closest thing we have to a beach is the sandy shore of the lake at Horseshoe Bend. And somehow I can't seem to talk my best friend into going out there to play. I'd go alone, but it's 12 miles plus and kind of deserted. I would like some company. Anyone?

My only wish....sun and sand, and it's so close and so far.